If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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