I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize