just come out here and I will go home with you...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
