Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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