It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
