What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you inspire me to be a worse person
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
