it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
