so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
