what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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