life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I need help removing her.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I met the friendliest cop last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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