talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
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There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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