she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
