One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
