After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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