ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Every concussion has its silver lining
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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