I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
