i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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