Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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