I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
