how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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