420 ftw
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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