these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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