Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
