Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
