how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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