I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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