he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
