I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
