The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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