Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
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I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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