I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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