white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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