I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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