I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
should my penis look like a turkey
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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