I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
