I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
