i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
