I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
