Sry I called you an 8
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
