i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
this will be a night to untag.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
