the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
