If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
