the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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