My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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