Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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