remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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