he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
