My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.