she woke up with a sticky ear
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!