you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
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This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
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Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU