just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...