no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
