You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
