doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
