Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
