Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I would ride that face into the sunset
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
