Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i

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(650): the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i <3 spencer pratt" tattoo... http://tfl.nu/08eh

Replies (17) Good night (649) Bad night (2108)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.

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(608): No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat. http://tfl.nu/i15q

Replies (14) Good night (3494) Bad night (833)
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(440): View more from Ohio

why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.

(1-440): View more from Ohio

you have got to be kidding?

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(440): why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex. (1-440): you have got to be kidding? http://tfl.nu/stk6

Replies (52) Good night (795) Bad night (4583)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

condoms and good judgment

(614): View more from Ohio

Can I buy both of those at the same store?

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(614): Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice? (1-614): condoms and good judgment (614): Can I buy both of those at the same store? http://tfl.nu/qy9b

Replies (0) Good night (4116) Bad night (695)
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(913): View more from Kansas

It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...

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(913): It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason... http://tfl.nu/n9s7

Replies (17) Good night (5356) Bad night (2064)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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(201): On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in http://tfl.nu/9hap

Replies (8) Good night (3854) Bad night (1015)
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(214): View more from Texas

I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests

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(214): I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests http://tfl.nu/7t18

Replies (9) Good night (3462) Bad night (1026)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.

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(226): I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience. http://tfl.nu/aa3x

Replies (1) Good night (1843) Bad night (1221)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected

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(443): I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected http://tfl.nu/8335

Replies (3) Good night (1582) Bad night (845)
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(989): View more from Michigan

i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.

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(989): i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway. http://tfl.nu/zfm5

Replies (1) Good night (2646) Bad night (738)
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(913): View more from Kansas

He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.

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(913): He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman. http://tfl.nu/kv33

Replies (7) Good night (866) Bad night (1665)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.

(613): View more from Ontario

The fuck? Where?

(226): View more from Ontario

St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.

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(226): I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy. (613): The fuck? Where? (226): St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/bh0m

Replies (8) Good night (983) Bad night (402)
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(979): View more from Texas

Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.

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(979): Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo. http://tfl.nu/7yqz

Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (365)
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(602): View more from Arizona

WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.

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(602): WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL. http://tfl.nu/p33r

Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (295)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking

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(570): we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking http://tfl.nu/289x

Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (174)

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