how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
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sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.