What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket