I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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