Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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(616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf

Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (570)
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(925): View more from California

just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.

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(925): just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck. http://tfl.nu/ybk3

Replies (61) Good night (4028) Bad night (1249)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out

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(513): Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out http://tfl.nu/2ht3

Replies (19) Good night (4346) Bad night (817)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...

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(603): the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing... http://tfl.nu/ohtd

Replies (61) Good night (635) Bad night (4287)
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(916): View more from California

The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.

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(916): The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/34a1

Replies (27) Good night (6166) Bad night (1407)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems

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(202): just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems http://tfl.nu/fumh

Replies (4) Good night (3297) Bad night (1067)
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(256): View more from Alabama

There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him

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(256): There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him http://tfl.nu/3qir

Replies (17) Good night (3747) Bad night (1053)
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(863): View more from Florida

oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.

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(863): oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dnld

Replies (14) Good night (1355) Bad night (3034)
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(630): View more from Illinois

What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.

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(630): What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday. http://tfl.nu/1egp

Replies (4) Good night (1658) Bad night (621)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Is she still in your room?

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.

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(978): Is she still in your room? (1-978): Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature. http://tfl.nu/vxhf

Replies (8) Good night (2022) Bad night (564)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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(515): Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself. http://tfl.nu/ezc4

Replies (9) Good night (1472) Bad night (488)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.

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(605): Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast. http://tfl.nu/w2q8

Replies (11) Good night (1255) Bad night (494)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink

(815): View more from Illinois

I care about my drink far more than her feelings

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(507): I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink (815): I care about my drink far more than her feelings http://tfl.nu/v6if

Replies (3) Good night (1620) Bad night (473)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.

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(630): I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award. http://tfl.nu/kz36

Replies (5) Good night (1041) Bad night (451)
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(360): View more from Washington

i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina

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(360): i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina http://tfl.nu/287f

Replies (18) Good night (414) Bad night (1855)

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