Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.

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  (916): I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d. http://tfl.nu/ncdi
  Replies (12) Good night (634) Bad night (1869)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents

  (636): View more from Missouri

  never have sex?

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  (314): sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents (636): never have sex? http://tfl.nu/1ynn
  Replies (44) Good night (3976) Bad night (659)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.

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  (203): Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet. http://tfl.nu/z4ao
  Replies (24) Good night (7546) Bad night (1674)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.

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  (901): we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly. http://tfl.nu/dwqa
  Replies (58) Good night (1636) Bad night (14573)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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  (615): Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron. http://tfl.nu/4qyy
  Replies (14) Good night (4351) Bad night (941)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.

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  (512): Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent. http://tfl.nu/bb3p
  Replies (7) Good night (1022) Bad night (2254)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (6062) Bad night (1695)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.

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  (616): thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore. http://tfl.nu/y9tr
  Replies (2) Good night (2443) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.

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  (847): Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat. http://tfl.nu/qyw3
  Replies (8) Good night (2175) Bad night (535)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.

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  (615): Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often. http://tfl.nu/4yb3
  Replies (9) Good night (2593) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.

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  (919): Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday. http://tfl.nu/t5o9
  Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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  (443): Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good. (410): The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky. http://tfl.nu/y3f5
  Replies (10) Good night (900) Bad night (2006)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah

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  (607): Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah http://tfl.nu/9m89
  Replies (7) Good night (855) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"

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  (775): This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat" http://tfl.nu/i7x4
  Replies (6) Good night (673) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.

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  (239): It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/4z4q
  Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (244)

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