Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
