Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)

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  (703): i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;) http://tfl.nu/0lh6
  Replies (21) Good night (2092) Bad night (589)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house

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  (732): so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house http://tfl.nu/3ust
  Replies (18) Good night (752) Bad night (4019)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.

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  (815): So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit. http://tfl.nu/x6k6
  Replies (33) Good night (7557) Bad night (1148)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.

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  (215): I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day. http://tfl.nu/v175
  Replies (10) Good night (4238) Bad night (871)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...

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  (908): Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty... http://tfl.nu/7ob9
  Replies (13) Good night (2837) Bad night (1330)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.

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  (301): I feel like I just tasted lung cancer. http://tfl.nu/g1s0
  Replies (5) Good night (1260) Bad night (2585)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.

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  (773): He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof. http://tfl.nu/nzip
  Replies (5) Good night (1379) Bad night (547)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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  (478): Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend http://tfl.nu/itrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (640)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.

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  (817): Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty. http://tfl.nu/lz9h
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (1356)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.

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  (+61): I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/lq2i
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (486)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook

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  (610): So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook http://tfl.nu/uied
  Replies (1) Good night (332) Bad night (604)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak

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  (306): of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak http://tfl.nu/lfx1
  Replies (7) Good night (534) Bad night (444)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  At a point I was just cumming dust last night

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  (917): At a point I was just cumming dust last night http://tfl.nu/fyiy
  Replies (4) Good night (504) Bad night (329)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.

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  (702): We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college. http://tfl.nu/29rl
  Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (352)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.

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  (828): I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work. http://tfl.nu/t1ta
  Replies (1) Good night (233) Bad night (162)

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