I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
