Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
is it fun? or sober?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
