I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
