i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i think im in europe. pls send help
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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