I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
