And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
