my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
