I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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