Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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